The First Dream

I was in a mostly barren room. It must have been midafternoon as there was a single ray of sunlight streaming through white, cracked, Venetian blinds to illuminate what must have been a white cot of some sort. Particles of dust were dancing in the light, enchanting me despite the fact that my body was crying for rest; and I took to the cot with zero hesitation.

As I lay down on my back; eyes sealed shut; relief beginning to flood every cell of my body; I felt a formless force pinning down every part of me, crushing me without asphyxiating me. As it penetrated my defenseless body, I understood who it was; and it seemed right. Necessary.

There was no fear. There was no disbelief. There was only mutual desire. When I yielded to it, the force took the shape of his body. I felt him harden within me, but neither of us moved. We just remained this way, our bodies in symbiosis, our energy fusing together without a thought to the cost.

We reached orgasm with the simultaneous epiphany that we had and would be bound together for every lifetime.

Why Can't I Just Say

Sighs suspended in the air like
Spirits of sweethearts kissing softly

Words still malformed and in disarray
Floating invisibly through my lips 

Every act a work in futility
Meant at once to reveal and to conceal
The pith of this illusive, tender phrase
Three little words... binding my heart

#MeToo

I set out this evening, head in the clouds Watching streaked skies, smelling magnolias... Then suddenly cut to the quick, Clipped by you, anonymous sir. Your ideals stab me like Fat-filled needles to my flapjack glutes- Lipids that would pad the smack Of your slobbering, salacious lips Your words fogging the orange-y pinks, Dung beetles bombing my beloved trees. And this is what I ruminate When you open your mouth to speak, sir: How can I be at once worthy of regard And also worthy of reproach And also worthy of your hand Upon my "less than luscious ass?" Am I not just me in cups of B And 30 inches of slightly swayed hips? Am I not just me with frizzy locks that curl and kink, Unpolished nails chewed to the quick but sometimes left to grow? Am I not just me: sister, daughter, friend Not "whore" or "bitch" or "slut" Am I not just me: voice in the void? Not "daaayum" or "suga'" or "'xuse me, ho!" I don't care to be your fantasies come to life, sir- Nor a target on the clay-caked, potholed, glass-shattered sidewalk That I tread, never knowing if (when) I snap If you might slap back.... Your vinegar tongue is not fit To address me by my Christian name... That must be why instead you shout "I'm talking to you, cunt!" as I walk away...

Ineptitude

Square pegs 

     In round holes

     Don't fill the void 

     Of a lonely heart

A Little Leap

Let me begin by saying I haven't felt this urge in so long- to put pen to paper or spirit to lyric. This impulse to funnel tear drops through fingertips and feel the relief of so many keystrokes elucidating secrets unbeknownst even to me. That was why I needed you, pined for you.

It happened so suddenly, didn't it? You just stood there with that look on your face- that look of piqued interest and wonder. I've seen that expression so many times... Rarely do I return the sentiment. I suppose that was why I couldn't turn my back to you. And here we are.

It feels like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff. There are storm clouds approaching in the distance. A sensation of eerie presentiment is saturating my skin like so much condensation; yet however disastrous it seems, it's so beautiful, so awe-inspiring I cannot turn away from it. The winds whip me closer to the chasm below but Zeus' bolts are too hypnotic. Would it be so bad to plummet after such wonder?

Your smile is mesmerizing, your touch incendiary, your charm magnetic. I might jump if it be your will. I might just let go...

I See You

Silence wraps you in Her violet arms

Protects you from the light.

You relish Her mysterious charms

Then thwart the Sun's cruel blight.

Though lonely, you will not commit

To sheer Transparency.

You try your best not to admit

To your Despondency.

Try as I might, I cannot yield  

To one I cannot know.

I cannot penetrate the shield.

Your Truths- they rarely show

But when I feel your yearning touch,

When sleep weakens your hold,

Your earnestness releases such

A vulnerable gold.

To glance upon the beating heart
Within your hazy cloak,
Ensures me I am not to part
With the fire that you toke.

Secret Lover

It's being out on a stormy day,

Static pinching through humid air,

Heaviness crushing my fragile lungs

As you hit w the force of 100 tides

You transfer your pulse w every touch

Cause lightning strikes within my veins

I cry for relief, as you set me aflame

Energy bursting through every cell

And the moment you finally crash into me?

Tornadoes hurl their greatest blows

Uprooting my home, invading my mind,

Destroying any semblance of control

But I yield to the extirpation-

Embrace it with maddening depravity.
Topple the ramparts of my being!

Leave me breathless in your wake!

And when we're through I realize

This is my chance for something new,

Until I rebuild, only to find

Everything remains just as it was...

Just Keep Breathing

Hee-hoooo, hee-hoooo,
Hee-hoooo, hee-hoooo...

Blue blood coursing, red blood flowing
Keeping me steady, keeping me ready
Breast swelling with O2, dispelling CO2,
Maintaining my wits in the miry pits.

Hee-hoooo, hee-hoooo,
Hee-hoooo, hee-hoooo,

You turn the hee-hoooo into a quick cue,
You make my heart still then suddenly trill.
What can I make of what you leave in your wake-
Masking life's hums with cymbals and drums?

Rat-a-tat, tricka rat-a-tat, ping-ping
Rat-a-tat, tricka rat-a-tat, ping-ping

A lash of your tongue
And my hands are rung
The same song and dance
Not another chance...

The world spins around,
No sky nor firm ground,
And my courage is spent...
Don't know where it went.

2X
Hee-hee, hee-hee
Hee-hee, hee-hee

Look at me getting undone
I can't seem to shake this one

Tribute to the Slam

I push and pull, push and pull, push and pull.

And you try to stay still, and you try just to chill;
But I try to let go and I try not to show
That my iron resolve just begins to dissolve
'Cause your touch makes me weak as a flat-lining beat.

BLEEP... Bleep... bleep...

And you and they, you and she, you and I

Move along with great care, most of us unaware
Of the way that we cope: choking on hangman's rope.
Though we all suffocate, not a one so irate
As to flail and to fight her way back to the light.

CREAK... Creak... creak...

We swing and sway, swing and sway, swing and sway.

While my innards do churn, it's for you that I burn,
For the mess of my life that would come from this knife.
Just contact with that pout, you'd gift me my way out,
You would set me ablaze with your hellish heat rays.

pop... Pop... POP!

Will You Save Me... If I save you?

Sorrowful swindles swim whispering winds.
Desire's alight in my quivering gaze.
Your eyes, your smile, your raspy voice-
Each a treacherous labyrinth too great to discern.

Fingertips trail titillating circuits of wondrous despair.
Eyelashes blast crippling rounds with shocking aplomb.
A gasp, a moan, a sigh, a scream: melodious ecstasy
As I squirm my response to your fervent touch.

If you grasp my hand you take from me my languid vacillation.
Do what you will to destroy my straining autonomous streaks.
I exist with neither a care in the world nor a will of my own,
Save to kiss away the tears glistening your delicate cheeks.

Regression

Maybe if the waves crash hard enough against my chest
Maybe if the lashes purge me of adulteration
Maybe if the tears combat the sting of every smack and every ring
I'll find my way back to the girl you loved.

I'm Not Enough

There is a wound I'd love to heal within you

On which you pour fermented grains

And bitter herbs

The rancor of which cannot be fathomed

When your cries shatter glass and hope

My failures clash with your despair

I cannot hear 

For the pleas or falling chunks of drywall

I want to wade through the cacophony,

Kiss you until you scream no more

Stroking your hair 

Until the calm soothes the festering within

Yet I don't think my love is fit to battle
Injuries long ago inflicted by another
Etched on marrow
They're difficult to patch up or mend

If you could allow yourself to cease
To stab and nick and prod and suck
The tender flesh
Let nature and time run their course

Perhaps we might reach brighter times
Enlightened plains, stable foundations
And enter to
A world in which we stand for one another

Lullaby

Tu cara se llena del resplandor del nuevo dia
Mientras duermes quieta en la cama. 
Tus ojos absorban los rayitos; y cuando te despiertas
Veo denuevo la magia dorada que da vida a mi alrededor.

Filtered gold upon your face
Casting shadows full of grace
And you have filled my heart with thoughts
Of floating leaves and swinging boughs

You've left me breathless, you are so flawless
It is so wondrous you're effortlessly so
And I am stricken with great affection
Lost in your angelic glow

Are you still in dreaming realms
Have you staged these whispering elms
Everything you touch is instantly precious
And I promise you that I'll do my best

To be the light that guides you, a shelter to hide you
The one that you turn to when you need to laugh or cry
And though I'm not perfect, I'll do my best to reflect
The love I feel when I look in your eyes

Siren's Song

Swim away with me.

My yearning voice calls to you from a crystal sea.

And I have been here waiting oh so patiently.

Oh please don't leave me out here on my own.

Run away, my dear-

If for a lifetime or for just a single year.

My hands are trembling now with ever looming fear

That you will leave me out here all alone.

Chorus One

I see you out there wondering what life can be,

Wishing it would offer something new.

I'll open up a world of possibility.

I'm here to make your wildest dreams come true.

Come along right now.

Drop your inhibitions, I can show you how.

I'll leave you speechless, make you stutter "W-w-wow" 

You'll see your every fantasy discerned.

Take a breath, my love.

You needn't fret, I'm gentle as a turtledove.

There are so many things I am capable of,

You'll see how deep my flame for you has burned.

Chorus Two

I know it won't make sense to those you leave behind-

Chasing after someone like myself.

They're all convinced you've snapped and you have lost your mind

But it's time you start to be true to yourself

And swim away,

I'm here to stay,

Inside your arms

Whiled by your charms

Come away.....

You're Beautiful

Just shut up, you're beautiful.
I dunno why you don't know.
Shut your mouth- you're beautiful.
I love you so.

Galaxies within your sight,
Aliens inside your soul,
Stop me gawking, shut 'em tight!
I'm like a kid with a fishbowl.

And you, my fish, are beautiful.

You told me you don't wanna feel-
Neutrality is glorious.
Wars are fought with anger's seal
And love is just erroneous.

Not because it's purely wrong-
Life just works in opposites.
If there's good, it's not too long
Before the bad's deposited.

And bad, you say,  ain't merited.

Well, if you reach neutrality,
What would be it's counterpoint?
Would you spend eternity
With empty moves and useless points?

I'll take life's blows with every kiss,
I'll taste each tear with every laugh.
If you're along for all of this,
I'll take the bounty and the chaff.

You, my love, are worth all that.

Colored Vials and Crippling Smiles

A smack upon my thirsty lips

You send me reeling.

As you commence your fervent nips

I get this feeling...

Colored vials and crippling smiles-
Tingles caused by kissing wiles.

My grip can conquer shame
Your stare can simmer blood.
My whispered, pleaded name
Brings the surging of a bud.

Caresses like sweet currents
That wash against our skin.
Shudders as my shirt rents
And sweat just trickles in

To mingle with seductive styles,

Colored vials and crippling smiles...

All the world we might well maim-
Dusts and skies, winds and rains
By the eruption in our veins,
With colored flecks and searing flame.

The Big Bang

Preceding "time" or "life" is just a ring with two polarities
Whose death match renders obsolete the smallest spark of "anything'.'
Opponents neutralizing all except a glowing entity-
Illuminating wonder as an incandescent offering.

A quick and stunning breath expelled in rapid sling-shot motion!
Watch every soul afloat in every molecule of spittle!
There is no "I" or "we" or "they" in flight in this commotion-
Only the faintest semblance of an "is" so vast and brittle.

Then all that "is" begins to dance a tango ever volatile,
With catapulted partners swept to realms to dwell or terminate;
Or just consume the anarchy- their passions so mercurial,
Until at last, a rhythmic flow does every body navigate.

Ensuing calm and settling flames give birth to vita temp'ral
While every soul becomes encased in stellar ash and waters.
Mystical and intricate, a tragedy ephem'ral
Thrust to a world resplendent with the remnants of star slaughters!

Our fragile suits whose threads are flanked with singular insignia
May serve to blur the knowledge of interconnected forces.
We're bound to all by lethal dust- strange agent of principia-
This pulsing light the unity of every[ ]body's courses.

One

So intertwined
You twinge and chills run down my spine
And in the grind
I hear your voice when I speak mine

So Passive Aggressive

"Home" creating severe cacophonic mellays
Of resounding violence
Quiet ricochets, commences ever foul displays
Of increasing pestilence

Your loathsome smile though tolerable a while
Seeps into the realms of my demonic desires
To charm, to thrill, to alarm, to fill
Each harmful will to arm myself to kill

Perhaps it's time to chat, my dear
Or else you've really much to fear

It's the National Day on Writing

I logged onto Facebook this afternoon. A friend of mine posted a link on his wall to the NWP website. It is the National Day on Writing; and the folks of NWP want to know why people write. Here goes:

Weeks have amassed without a single creation of mine- eternities since I've channeled my soul into my fingertips and transposed the fragments of my being. The accumulation of so much time without expression is... beyond expression. That's precisely it! To be without words is to reach profundities of meaninglessness that absorb my consciousness and cast a fog over my identity. If I don't give voice to my feelings, if I have no thoughts, I don't exist. For me, writing isn't just an exercise in catharsis, it is the process of self-actualization and the lasso that captures and attaches me to my reality. Without it, I slowly dissipate into the ether- I cease to be.

Such blessed moments of lucidity keep me grounded, keep me happy, regardless of the news they bear or their eloquence. It is the act itself, the process, that aliments. It is for this reason that I must continue to write. My fuel, my life force, consists of each character, each sentiment, every composition that sheds light upon my current condition. Writing is what thrives me; and without it, I starve myself into oblivion.